Checking in on Your Partner
Something I really appreciate about my partner, Rowan, is that they do comfort check-ins with me often. Every month or so, we sit down and talk about what we have liked and disliked doing over the past few weeks. It helps to really be sure that we are on the same page, in terms of consent and intimacy.
Being clear about what we are interested in trying out and what lines we never want to cross is so helpful, because it keeps things like boundaries from being a mystery. Treating consent with your partner like an ongoing conversation is very important, and (in my opinion) one of the reasons why Rowan and I have been together for so long.
Consent
One of the most important parts of sustaining a healthy relationship is making sure that everyone involved feels safe and respected. There are many ways to do that, and one such method is to periodically assess how each person feels about the relationship, intimacy, and affection. In many relationships, consent is an ongoing conversation whose parameters change both as each person gets to know the other better, and as they learn more about themselves.
Ask yourself: What do I know for a fact my partner is interested in? What do I know that they dislike? Are they similarly aware of my likes and dislikes? How often do we discuss what we do and do not want to try? Do I feel safe expressing my feelings in terms of intimacy? Does my partner indicate that they also feel safe expressing their feelings around intimacy?
Ask yourself: What do I know for a fact my partner is interested in? What do I know that they dislike? Are they similarly aware of my likes and dislikes? How often do we discuss what we do and do not want to try? Do I feel safe expressing my feelings in terms of intimacy? Does my partner indicate that they also feel safe expressing their feelings around intimacy?
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